A Terrible Me & A Wonderful You

I was lying on my bed...staring on the ceiling...

...and thinking deeply of what you were trying to consult me last night...

I know it damn well too, you're always there when i need you...

...and even sacrificing your precious time and sleeping hours...

...to talk to a wood like me...

Dunno since when, i become so ignorant and hurting you all the time...

...and worst of all, i don't even noticing that...

It is really not fair...

...not fair at all for you to care for such terrible person like me...

I was thinking...am i really born to have a heart of stone?

I never notice i am actually such a terrible person...until you told me so...

I really dunno how to care nor to love the people around me...

I really dunno why...

I know i should be very grateful

...because even if i am such a terrible person...

...people like you, my beloved families, my lovely bro and even my sir...

...are always there to concern about me...

I really should...and i really will

...learn to care and love the people around me more...

...maybe not by words...but definitely by actions...

I know myself very well

If i know of someone that really cares and loves me with their true heart

I will do the same too

But my actions could be indirectly and less obvious...

...but that's just me...

Lastly, to my beloved bro

Even if i can't find a true love in my entire life...

...like what you said, "there's no true love in this realistic world"...

I won't really care less

What most important to me is

~true love from my families and friends~

日夜想你 by 鍾嘉欣

已经好久好久

没接触广东歌或广东戏了

也不晓得为啥

最近电台有播放这首鍾嘉欣的日夜想你

还真的蛮好听勒~

好听好听~

想寫首歌 by 范安婷

这一届新光帮的范安婷

虽然还不是个专业歌手

但却自创了如此悦耳的歌曲~

真不简单！

我看好妳！

加油~！

眯着眼睛 迎接早晨

站在镜子前面的我还是那老样子

一张旧照片 和一夜的沉淀

让我觉得可以准备好一小场失恋

有些事情 闷在心里

一直拖 一直拖 一直拖 一直拖着下去

忍到星期天我们再见面

早已经没有想跟你和好的意愿

但是 想找个方法来纪念

但是 今天过后不能再怀念

想写首歌给你 但找不到想你的声音

叫你也只剩背影

不相信你 也不需要你的同情

最好能只能在回忆里

看见你 看不见和你走在一起

让你给别人去珍惜~

花木兰

花木兰代父从军

勾起了小时候不少的回忆

家里有着那Mulan VCD

我也不晓得重看了多少遍

常常还会幻想自己是木兰的角色

还会跟自己说，“男子能做之事 我们女孩儿也能呀”

还记得妈妈也都会说，“妳就是我们家里的木兰啦”

听到妈妈酱子说 我就超兴奋的~

***毕竟小孩就是小孩嘛***

小时候的我

也曾经想要当个为民除害的好警察

而现在的我

虽然不是迈向着 要当个好警察的路

但也算是迈向着 要为民服务的好工程师

再过一年

我就会在这现实的战场上打拼

虽然我相信这世界上

是有着有情有泪的朋友

但我也相信

时间会慢慢让我体会到

人类现实和残酷的一面

想要生存

那就得像木兰一样

有着坚强奋斗的心

在沙场上勇往直前！

Long Lost Friend...

She's a long lost friend of mine.

We didn't seen each other, ever since we graduated...

Just recently, she messaged me via FB, and asked me out for a drink.

Of course, I'm more than happy for that!

Tonight, we finally met up and had a drink.

However, this outing turned out to be something I did not expected...

In fact, it made me a bit depressed...as i couldn't do much but just listening...

I knew she's starting up a business real soon~

And of course, I'm so proud & happy for that!

However, by just listening to her 1st sentence, I realised she hates it so much...

I could see how much she hated this job and how depress she is now...

From the way she talks...from whatever she's trying to tell me...

...and from what i can see from her eyes...

A work that could possibly earn you lots of $$...but you didn't enjoy it...

A work that could widen your "friends" networking, but it's very unhealthy...

And most importantly, you're hating it...

But since you're so determine to continue it, there's nothing much i could do also...

Despite all the depressing things that she's trying to let go from her (and i'm glad she did)...luckily there's ONE thing that could at least cheer her up~

Hopefully your to-be lover, will be there to support you always~

I'm sure a simple smile from your loved one is the best cure of everything. :)

As an old friend, I will wish the best for you and hope for the best for you too!

All the best and do take good care of your health, my old buddy~

流星雨~

上星期口天说

“18/11/09的凌晨3点到6点 我们大家一起去看流星雨好吗？”

虽然也是半信半疑的我

毕竟也还没真正看过流星嘛

那就当然说好咯~ ^^

昨天下午 刮了一场暴风雨

之后也陆陆续续一直在下雨

到了凌晨4点 虽然雨是停了

但天空还是布满了云和水雾

不管了！既然大家都已决定牺牲睡眠

我们就出发到TTS湖去赏流星吧~！

到了目的地

口天和他的朋友先骑机车去探索乌黑的现场

才发现沿路上有三棵松树倒塌了

当然我们还是没有放弃！

一步一步地跨越重重难关

才抵达口天所建议的赏流星基地

先把地毯摆好

正当大家要准备坐下时

第一颗流星竟然掉落了！

很明显 我就missed了那颗流星。。。听说是蓝色的。。。

好了！这次我就牢牢地往东方盯住。。脖子也开始酸了。。

噢！！！第二颗流星又一瞬间出现了！！！真的很快！！

这次这颗流星像是在燃烧中 是橙色的~

还好这次给我看到了！ 而且也刚好够时间让我许下一个愿望~ ^^

现场的大家都一直抬头东望望西望望

尽管脖子超酸也不放弃

过后陆陆续续还有四颗流星降落

听说最大的一颗 我也missed了。。。

我只能说

有缘的人就看得见

没缘的人（就像我一样）

就只能一直大喊

“哪里？哪里？？”

“边嘟？边嘟？？”

“Where is it？Where is it？？”

我还心想要多许几个愿望。。都不可以。。真不公平啊。。

给你 by 陈奕迅

Came across with this song in the afternoon, in the car.

Just thought, it's a nice song to share~ :)

心墙

我想。。。

每个人的心中 都总会有一道心墙吧？

有些人的心中 可能就只有那一道薄薄的隔墙（partition wall)

只要细心和耐心地聆听 就能默默感受到心中的心语

但有些人的心中 却有着一道像万里长城般宏伟的城墙

想要侵袭它是很难 想要破解之中的谜底？那就更难了

但是。。。

如果城墙的第一道城门是打开的 那还算是有一线希望吧？

我想。。。

只要有着一份坚持的心 然后不顾一切地往前走

慢慢地翻越那万里之路和那一道又一道的门关

到最终 那一枚金匙就自然会出现在眼前

当金匙把金门给打开时 那结果又会是怎样呢？

那当然还是个谜了。。。

在翻越那一道又一道的门关时

很多问题可能是无法得到明确的解答

那其实都无所谓。。。因为。。。最重要的是可以得到一个“肯定”

一个可以肯定迈向正确方向的强心针。。。？

Hmm。。。可能吧。。。

无聊篇

最近真的开始觉得自己很烦人

即时课业上已经够烦了

但还是会很无聊地去多想很多无畏的事情

我是真的有那么闲吗？！

之前都只会觉得别人很烦很讨厌的我

现在。。反而开始讨厌自己了

向来爱装得一副很坚强的我

都只是为了面子和自尊而已

表现得若无其事真的是我的强项

有时 我真的很想放下那无畏的自尊与面子

勇敢地释放感情去大哭一场

。。。但就是不能。。。

连看了最爆笑的康熙 也无法真正的从内心里笑出来。。。

这世上有无限逻辑是难以理解的

就像宇宙般地奥妙神奇

奥妙得让我好奇但却难以理解与抓摸

可能是我太笨了吧。。。

或许。。

我总是爱把一些简单的事情看得太重太复杂

投入过分的感情与关怀 可能也不是件好事

从来都不觉得自己很烦很多余 但现在却感觉得到了

可能话多说了 反而就变得很多余吧？

这道理我也明白的。。。

过去的一切酸甜苦辣 可能就只是个回忆而已

回忆就是回忆 历史是不可能重演

想太多 也无法把事情纠正 反而带来更多的痛苦

那想来干嘛呢？我也不明白不了解 但就是爱浪费时间去想。。。

我很常对自己说

有空我倒不如多想想我的未来 多多规划目前比较重要的事情吧

可惜我往往都只是开口说空话 看鬼说鬼话 看人说人话。。好不实在。。

好吧！我想。。真的是时候去唤醒我那失散的灵魂了

把事情看得平淡些简单些 对一切都会比较好吧

离上课时间还有六小时半

但我却完全无法入睡

真的要多谢那两包Nescafe 3in1。。。

今天将会是个很忙碌的一天

上完课就要继续赶完明天要交的课业

然后继续去练习三小时的球

那么充实的一天 应该会让我很疲累

然后可以好好地睡一觉吧~

再见

~May U Rest In Peace~

今天中午 突然收到了妹妹的来电

才得知 我们家的宝贝小白兔已离开人间

正好是八月十五 中秋节

我还想说

难道它是跟随嫦娥 飞到月亮当月兔了吗？

还记得。。。

昨天 '你'低着头不理会我

我还不以为然的认为'你'是心情不好而不理睬我

没想到 今天我就再也见不到'你'了。。。

在短短的一年多里

Boony还真的让我们一家人 增添不少的欢乐

现在每当看见那空空的笼子

想想了当年的回忆

我的眼泪就会情不止尽地在眼眶里打圈圈

希望在西界的'你'会过得更快乐~

天天吃'你'爱的榴梿，米饭，红萝卜，etc~

我们会很想念'你'的~!!

Nightmare...........

I can't believe how stubborn i can be when i wanted something, immediately!

And how suffering it can be to have bad/short-term memory.

Just found out a new equation for myself:

"stubborn + poor memory = insomnia + headache"

Besides, i also found out that, it's not exactly a good idea to tidy up my stuffs so 'neatly'.

When i wanted to find things that are perfectly secured, well-packed and hidden...

...there it comes, my nightmare of having insomnia...

Out of a sudden before i fall asleep, i thought of finding YOU ALL.

Because of that, i messed up my room in the middle of the night...which sounds really STUPID!

After 2 hours searching from one corner to another...

...I FINALLY found ALL OF YOU ---> my LOVELY CARDS that securely wrapped, packed and kept in a broken drawer of mine.

Now what?

I'm utterly tired + having headache...but totally awake by now...

Surely gonna 'fish' in the office tomorrow...

??何苦勒??

(=.=)

Bukit Tabur and Broga Hill~

Recently, i've fell in LOVE with hikings! Ever since i came back from the UK, i've explored to Bukit Gasing, Bukit Tabur and Broga Hill~ I'd say, Bukit Tabur was the BEST! It's challenging and the sceneries are awesome~!

There's a lake beside Bukit Tabur which i found out that some people actually called it as "梦湖" (fantasy lake).

Here's the nice view of the mountain and the Fantasy Lake~

by me

Nice shot~!

by Qianhui

Another nice shot~!

by Qianhui

The 2 young ladies and the 2 professional photographers that we met on the moutain~

Not to forget, the Queen of the mountain --> "小黄"

by me

Here's the photo that i liked most~!

by one of the professional photographers

Here's our tour guide, Kok Hoong~

by me

Qianhui and I @ the other side of the peak!~

by Kok Hoong

As for Broga Hill, the scenery was great too! But then, this hill is getting more and more famous...and we actually "jammed" on the hill a few times! Can you imagine that... (=.=)

The view of the University of Nottingham Malaysia Campus~

This reminded me of "茶壶山" in Taiwan. The differences are, there's no Ocean Pacific view from here and there's no "pondok" and proper staircase up here. :p

A proof of some patriotic people that climbed up here on 31/08/09!

This is definitely NOT the end of my journey for the LOVES of hiking!

Bukit Tabur --> I'll be back for picnic!~

Broga Hill --> I'll be back for the sunrise~! ^^

~Hope to discover, challenge and conquer MORE "bukits" from now on~

Macro Shooting using Digital Camera

This "little flower" icon on my digital camera, has bothering me for a long time. Since last year, i was wondering how come other people's digital camera can take such good shots BUT mine can't... WHY?! However, i didn't bother to find that out until recently, i saw this fastinating photo taken by my friend~ These tiny ants are so clear while the background is blurred!~

Here's the fastinating photo that i'm talking about~ ^^

Because of this, i made up my mind and tried to find out some information via internet. One of the important phrases that i noted was, "different camera has different limitation on the Macro mode --> READ your camera's manual!"

As for my camera (Coolpix L12), the limitation for this mode is as close as 15cm. So, in order to get a sharp object with blur background, you may have to distance your camera to at least 15cm, then zoom in to your desired object and focus it (press halfway). By holding on your "focusing" button, move your camera slightly upward or to any desired background, then snap!

Thah Dang!~

And if you want a blur object with sharp background, you may have to move your camera as close to the object as possible (zoom-out completely), focus it (press halfway) and you'll find that your object is totally off-focus (BLUR)! ***Well, that's normal coz the Macro mode for my camera is limited to as close as 15cm ONLY*** Again, by holding on your "focusing" button, move your camera slightly upward or to any desired background, then snap!

Thah Dang!~

DO TRY IT USING YOUR OWN DIGITAL CAMERA~! IT'S FUN!!! (^.^)

p.s.: This little pig in my room, always busy with her mobile, computer and TV! What can i say... :p

星期六的深夜 - 王力宏

Macros in EXCEL

Sometimes, working life can be SUPER boring especially when no job is assigning to you. However, i do appreciate the working experience that i am gaining from G&P company; they are priceless~

The work that i am dealing with now, is more to data analysis and modelling. When we talk about data analysis, that simply means you are dealing with tonnes and tonnes of numbers! And through this internship, i have learned to use Macro function in repeating the steps that i want in Excel. It is awesome! Saving my time!~

EXAMPLE

If let say you are having a range of monthly data from year 1990-2005 and your task is to plot monthly graphs.

---> Macros is of GREAT help in selecting only a certain month that you desired~!

Step 1: Make sure your data is sorted accordingly (by months and years). Now, point your cursor on Jan-90 as shown in Figure 1.

Figure 1

Step 2: Go to “View” and click on “Macros”, then select “Use Relative References” as shown in Figure 2. [NOTE: Do not remove the cursor on Jan-90]

Figure 2

Step 3: Click on “Record Macro…” from “Macros” function. Then, insert a shortcut key in the pop-up menu, let say, Ctrl + “w” as shown in Figure 3. [NOTE: Do not remove the cursor on Jan-90]

Figure 3

Step 4: Highlight rows from Feb-90 to Dec-90, then right click to delete them as shown in Figure 4.

Figure 4

Step 5: Now, point your cursor at Jan-91, then click "Stop Recording" as shown in Figure 5.

Figure 5

Step 6: By pointing the cursor on Jan-91, you may now press on "Ctrl+w" (the shortcut key that you set earlier) repeatedly until your task is done. Finally, only the data for the month of January are selected while the rest of the data are deleted automatically using “Macros” function. DONE~!

***Macros is a very useful function in repeating any task you want. Most importantly, be very certain of your desired starting and ending points***

"You're Gorgeous Just The Way You Are"

This is such an encouraging and educative video~
Thank you bro "Fei Keen" for telling me this~! ^^
This has reminded me to complain less about my life and learn to appreciate more~
I'll REMEMBER that whenever i feel helpless, hopeless, stressed or depressed...
Thanks bro~!!! :)

Only Words...

Words are so powerful..
Sometimes, they can be really wonderful and make you happy..
But sometimes, they can be very harmful and hurt you badly..

Most people that know me, they like to make jokes about me or even tease me..
But i know it well, they do it because they know i won't get angry easily..
But of course, everyone has a limit in accepting jokes..so do i..
Until some extent if i keep quiet about the things that you're saying, that simply means, i'm either not agreeing with your statement, i didn't hear that or i'm simply a bit angry and trying to calm myself down by changing a new topic..
I realised, not many people can understand me in this..eventhough we have been knowing each other for years..

And i always thought, things can be solve only if the problem/uneasy feeling is being told..but things aren't just that simple..
I know, i can be really rude in spilling out my bad feelings sometimes..
And i just did that to 2 person last night..one is my mum and one is YOU..
Well, i should just admit that my EQ is so damn low...i can't help it...

I don't normally spill out my feelings unless i really have to..
This time, i really have to because if i don't, i know i'm really gonna break down in no time..

First of all, sorry mum.. I shouldn't have shouted at you last night when helping you out..i know i always do that because i have no patience in explaining things over and over again while i know you're actually not paying attention.. I'll try my best to change this bad habit.. Sorry..

Secondly, sorry to YOU as i really didn't know that a few sentences can be so hurtful to YOU.. I know, what's done cannot be undone, especially to YOU.. My bad.. (>.<)

Thirdly, i ought to say sorry to Ting as well.. I know i did hurt your feelings a few times in the UK for spilling out my feelings.. I did right? But i must say, you're very patience in dealing with me.. Thank you so much~ Well, i'm gonna be your roommie soon, if i'm ever hurting your feelings again, do let me know k? You know, i like to discuss problems and solve that with you instead of putting it in heart.. :)

Lastly, sorry bro.. I FFK you yesterday night and you knew why... I know you've tonnes to spill out and so do i.. But i really dunno how to say.. Well, i may be a good listener (to you only...maybe?) but not a good spiller.. I know you're very busy in your mega project lately..and i can't get to help you at all..really sorry.. When you're free, just give me a ring.. I promise, i will never FFK you this time.. :)

Alright, that's all for the sorries.. I shall balance out with some thank you(s) too~

THANK YOU Kok Hoong!! You've been really wonderful and had really lessen my burden~ You've always been thoughtful and helpful to me.. Really thank you~! I know you don't like me saying this but i really mean it and wanna say it.. :)

"Fei Keen"~!! You've always showing your concern in knocking on my windows whenever you see me in MSN.. I really appreciate that~ But today, i'm really not in the mood of chatting.. That was why i only chatted for awhile.. Anyway, you're gonna be back real soon~! Do enjoy to the fullest in the UK while you still can lo~ ^^

I'm not sure whether you'll be reading this or not.. But well, i'm really happy in receiving your email today.. What a surprise~! Thanks for the song, the photos and your stories~ I'm so touched that you actually remember me because of that band~ Miss you all so much~!! :)

Kellie, i really wanna say thank you for inviting me to watch the MTV World Stage (Hoobastank rocks!! You're right, that girl was Pixie Lott..i just found that out from the newspaper today..haha) and The Proposal (great movie!!and i'm kinda shocked that you actually forgotten watching that with me and asking me to watch it for the second time..lolz)~ Well, i hope you did had fun for the PAINtball as well~ Oh ya, please forgive me for the stupid things that i did last week (fetching you).. :p See you tomorrow~ :)

Serene, Shea Yeong, Jason, Eeffie and Ken, how i wish you guys are here now with me.. I want Hoegaarden, Kronenberg and Carlsberg Export please....... I'm missing the eating & drinking sessions with you guys so much~!!

Alright..it's time for me to 反省 and also to heal myself.....by dreaming.....